You Spin Me Right Round Baby... Right Round...

Miss E recently had surgery to switch from an exterior port to an interior port. That's the best way I can describe it quickly. The "prize" she chose afterwords was the soundtrack to Alvin and the Chipmunks "The Squeakquel". That song has been running around in my head for two weeks... and coincidentally... I was spinning! I'd like to introduce you to my new friends...

This is Aquatic Dreams dyed (and donated) by Tina of Sugar Bubbie... my first spin with targhee... it won't be my last. She was so well behaved I'd like to have her for tea everyday!


This is Jack... he was dyed by Three Irish Girls on Superfine Merino. He didn't behave quite as well as I'd have liked him to, but he was first on the wheel and it had been a long winter without spinning... so it's not all his fault. He had a rough upbringing. We're just going to call him "rustic".

This here is my shiny friend... Lazy Day. She was dyed by Julie at Selah. She's a lovely 50/50 blend of Superwash Merino and Tencel. She's my first "I'm proud of it soft spun single". She's a little shy for the camera though... always trying to hide in the shadows.

And here is the showoff... Neverland dyed by Lisa at Becoming Art on Superfine Merino. She was a little high maintenance... the skeins didn't turn out very even. I think my stress level showed here with my inconsistency. Therefore, one skein must stay home with me... the "bad" one. Darn!


You know what the best part is? You, yes, YOU could take home any one of my friends for yourself! They are all going up for auction next week! A woman from a group I've been a part of since Miss N was born has fallen on tragic times. She needs our help. You can read part of her story and see the auction items that are being added every moment at Western Sky Knits. These lovely gals are the gracious hostesses for A Whole Latte Love. Previews are going up every day and the auctions go live on May 14th! Don't miss out!

Completely non-depressing post!

I know, I've been a serious downer... meaningful, but downer posts! I'm going parade some pretty knits around and cheer you this time. I've been busy since I last blogged... meant to blog... but didn't. This seems to have turned into a chronic problem.

First... there was the knitting Olympics! I struggled a bit in the beginning because I had a project I wanted to finish, but it didn't count. So I was late to start. Both efforts are worth mentioning. Both knit with Hazel Knits Artisan Sock... the Olympics team I was on 'Hazel Knuts'. What can I say? Love her yarn! Gift socks in Sailors Delight. Hard to give away, but I had some more red waiting to be cast on so that helped. Akimbo for me. Oh Akimbo... I do love you. Your silky softness is so nice up against my neck... and your colors make me look alive on the dreariest of winter days when I am worn down and exhausted. Both things make you dear to me.



Next comes some adorableness so cute it might hurt your teeth. Easter sweaters for a family of our friends. I've never understood all the sundresses in the stores at Easter. I have never lived far enough south to even dare to hope to wear such a thing in early April! The yarn is Amy March by Yarn Love. A new yarn that I love...


At this point I looked over at a whole stack of projects including cabling that I had started this winter but not gotten very far on. Cables... so gorgeous, but often they make my hands sore. I have resisted the plea "Mommy will you knit ME a sweater" (There is guilt involved here but I'm still holding strong.) and am working towards rectifying this UFCO situation. (UnFinished Cabled Objects) You may recall I tried this pattern before (BFF Socks), and ran out of yarn for my big feet. So that pair turned into a gift for someone with significantly shorter feet. This time, enough yarn... barely. Yarn is Beckon Super Merino from Three Irish Girls. They were not the most fun to knit (sore hands), but they are lovely. And they enjoyed playing for the camera. Blues hardly ever play nice with the camera. They've earned more adoration from me for that.



And now I'm dutifully working away on Koolhaas Hat number two for Hub. A seriously SLOW knit. The first one I knit him with dk weight yarn ended up too small. This time I'm knitting with worsted but am wondering if I should have gone up a needle size. We shall see! After that I think I'll allow myself to knit something without cables... or my fingers might fall off.

Sweet Samuel

There seem to be phases of life that are just heavy. They are full of problems, belonging both to you and the ones you love. Obviously for us the past 15 months have been extremely heavy. And it has opened the door for others to walk into our lives who are also carrying heavy loads tagged 'childhood cancer'. But this particular burden came from both inside and outside of our cancer world. You see, one of the nurses in the pediatric oncology department also goes to our church. Before Miss E was diagnosed we only knew each other by name. Our husbands were quite familiar and friendly with one another, but somehow our paths had yet to intersect. Well, as you can imagine, living in the hospital, in her department, parked us at an intersection. She always did a really fantastic job at being professional. She avoided having direct care of us in order to maintain a good amount of professionalism. But she always found time on her break... or lunch... or at the end of her day to check on us. A slow sweet friendship was sprouting. Seven months ago we got out of the "living in the hospital" part of treatment and we have been able to form a much more normal friendship... time one on one and also time with our families together.

I have always felt like she was a blessing to us. A special gift that God placed right in the hospital just for us! Little did I know he brought us together for our mutual benefit at hard places in both of our lives.

Four weeks ago my friend, radiant and beautiful, 28 weeks pregnant with her second son... went from excitement and trepidation over having two rowdy boys in the house, to fear that her son would not live another day. Because of multiple serious health issues with the baby, the doctors decided it would be best for this sweet boy to be born at 28 weeks gestation. Most people know that is far too early for a baby to be born. Normal gestation is 40 weeks give or take a couple of weeks. But they knew if they did not get him out, he wouldn't have a chance. So out he came. His chance at life was slim. He fought hard and he made it past those first few fragile days. Life became upside down for his family. They had a baby... but he wasn't at home. Since it was a second boy they hadn't really bought anything new... he would get big brothers hand me downs. With Samuel remaining in the NICU, at home it was almost as if he didn't exist. It was a very strange reality.

As I fervently prayed for this family, I also spent a week frantically knitting. Samuel needed something that was his. Something made special just for him. The Bible says that children are a blessing. Samuel is a blessing. No matter what the circumstances are, he is beautiful, he is important, his life has meaning, and he is a blessing. I made him a "Sammy size blankie". A small, pretty, log cabin blanket. It was made with so much love. And as I knit it, it was a reminder to be continually in prayer for him. I was a little nervous in giving it... you never know how people are feeling in these situations. But I need not fear, it was perfect. It touched his mothers heart in just the right way.

Yesterday, at precisely four weeks old, Sammy went home to the arms of his Heavenly Father. He only got to bless our lives for four short weeks. He will be greatly missed.

If only there was a way that my hands could knit away the pain in his parents hearts now...

2009 - The Year of Gifts

For the first half of the year I spent endless hours, days, weeks in the hospital with Miss E. Just sitting. Much of the time she was in isolation and unable to even leave her room. Which meant I wasn't going anywhere either. Just sitting... unable to take care of Miss N... unable to take care of my home... my husband... etc... Just sitting. Knitting kept me company. Knitting kept me busy. Knitting kept me from jumping out the window from sheer boredom and uselessness. I found a mission.

There were amazing people who stepped into our lives this year. The kind of people who come over to your house at 3am so that both Hub and I could take Miss E in to the ER when she was in severe pain and we were scared sick. The kind of people who come over and clean your house for you after wood floors have been refinished. That's a particularly nasty kind of messy there. The kind of people who care for your child as if she were there own. The kind of people who let you live in their home for three months while your house is being renovated to make it safe for your sick child. The kind of people who bring you Christmas dinner in the hospital and spend time with you in the place no one wants to be on a holiday. The kind of people who organize teams of people to bring you food and care for your healthy child. People who step into your everyday hospital life because it's their job... and then become your very dear friend. People who come and babysit and send you off on dates with your husband. Amazing people. Absolutely amazing.

I felt so helpless. I FEEL so helpless still. There is so much I can't do. We continue to need other people everyday. There is absolutely nothing I could possibly do to thank these people who have come into our lives in such an amazing way. Nothing could equal what they have done for us and are continuing to do for us as we walk through this nightmare called childhood cancer. But what I could do... was knit. I knit love and thankfulness and prayers for blessing into every stitch I made. I hope that these very small tokens of my love and effort touched them in even just a small way. Because they have all touched our lives in a very big way. I couldn't possibly make something for every person who has helped us along the way. I don't even know every person who has! These gifts were for the people who have been involved with us every day. They haven't fizzled out. They haven't forgotten us. They're still here, always supporting, helping, encouraging and loving us. It is truly a priceless gift we have been given.

Moms Cabled Mitts Pattern

Thanks to Sheri at The Loopy Ewe, this pattern is in hot demand. Many people not on Ravelry have been wanting to get their hands on it. This isn't the tidiest way to get it out there, but it is quick! Sheri has also created a row counting worksheet to help everyone out. Enjoy! (And please excuse the bizarre text editing... apparently blogger does not enjoy text being copied and pasted!)

Mom’s Cabled Mitt’s

Size Large modeled by me.

Materials: 130ish yards of a heavy worsted weight. Examples were knit in Karabella Aurora 8, Black & Lorna’s Laces Shepherds Worsted, Red Rover.

Needles: US size 5 (3.75mm)

Gauge: 11 stitches and 14 rows per 2 inches

Size: Womens S/M (M/L) – The M/L is longer, but no bigger around. The pattern stretches plenty to cover both sizes.

Notes: This pattern was knit in the round on double pointed needles.

K1 – knit one

P1 – purl one

M1 – make one

PM – place marker

SM – slip marker

Ribbing Row

P1, (K3, P2 - 3x), K8, (P2, K3 - 3x), P1

Cable Row

P1, (K3, P2 3x), Cable Twist, (P2, K3 3x), P1

Cable Twist

Slip 4 stitches to cable needle, hold to front or back, knit 4 stitches from needle, knit 4 stitches from cable needle, continue in pattern around.

**I made these with mirrored cables. You can do this easily by holding the cable stitches to the back on one mitten and the front on the other. Or if you just want them the same hold to the same (front or back) on both.

Directions:

Cast on 40 stitches. (I use long tail cast on – you want it to be stretchy)

Join to begin knitting in the round.

Knit 5(6) rows of Ribbing Row

Knit Cable Row

**Knit Ribbing Row 8x(9x)

**Knit Cable Row

**Repeat these 9(10) rows for 18(20) rows, it’s time to start the thumb shaping.

Thumb Shaping:

For this pattern you will have an “assigned” mitt for each hand because you want the cable on top of each hand. So you will be putting a thumb on opposite sides of the cable for each mitt.

Right Mitten:

Prep Round: P1, (K3, P2 - 3x), K8, P2, K3, P2, K1, PM, K1, PM, continue in pattern to end.

**Rnd 1: Knit in pattern to marker, SM, M1, Knit to marker, M1, SM, knit in pattern to end.

**Rnd 2 & 3: Knit in pattern

Left Mitten:

PrepRound: P1, K3, P2, K1, PM, K1, PM, Continue in pattern around.

**Rnd 1: Knit in pattern to marker, SM, M1, Knit to marker, M1, SM, knit in pattern to end.

**Rnd 2 & 3: Knit in pattern

**Repeat these three rows until you have 13 stitches between your markers for the thumb.

Knit 2 more rows in pattern.

Knit around in pattern, when you get to the thumb stitches, place them on some waste yarn and cast on one stitch in it’s place. (I used backwards loop method, do as you choose!)

Knit 7(11) more rows in pattern. (There should be 5(6) rows of ribbing at beg & end of mitts bef/after the cable at either end of the mitt – in other words they should mirror one another)

Cast off loosely in pattern!

Now you need to go back and pick up the thumb stitches that you have on waste yarn. You will also want to pick up 3 stitches in the gap at the top of the thumb. (This could be more or less… just make sure there are no gaps.)

Knit 4(5) rows.

Cast off loosely!

Viola, gorgeous mitt’s!

This pattern is copyright protected

© 2008 Jessica Jensen

All rights reserved.

http://artistjess.blogspot.com/

This pattern is for your personal, non-commercial use only.

You are not allowed to make garments from this pattern for sale anywhere.

You are not allowed to mass produce this pattern or garments made from it.

A Link

For me, there has always been a link between my hands and my heart. And in this difficult year the connection has been deep and apparent to me. For most of the year I was literally locked up in the hospital with Miss E. Away from Hub, away from Miss N. We were a family split in half.

During this time I tried to find ways to connect with Miss N. I tried to keep a connection between us. I tried to let her know I was still here... still thinking about her and loving her. It was hard. It was bitterly hard. She hurt. I hurt. We all hurt. We have been free of hospital stays for four months now. But the scars are there. After our initial stay (34 days/nights) I would leave a card, a note, a drawing... a little present for Miss N at home in my dresser. If we ended up in the hospital more than a few days Hub would sneak it out onto her pillow while she was brushing her teeth. It was a way for me to be at home with her. For the first eight months Miss E was inpatient over 50% of the time. That is a lot of time to live apart. Miss N now carries every single one of these notes and drawings with her every time she parts from me even if only for a few hours. On one hand, I love that she does this. I totally get it. The small gifts are forgotten, but the things made with my hands, the words written from my heart, are treasured by her. On the other hand... it is heart wrenching. I know the scars she has. I know the fears she has. And the fact that she clings to these things so dearly exposes them.

During much of this time I would have her blanket with me. I started it before Miss E was diagnosed... but it proved to be the perfect timing. Most nights after work Hub would pick up Miss N and they would come up to visit at the hospital. If I had been working on the blanket, she noticed. She would light up. She would go home for the night with a smile on her face and say "Now don't forget to work more on my blanket!". It was a connection between the two of us even when we were apart.

Now, it's certainly not as flashy as the new Nintendo DS she got spoiled with today. But I know that she will treasure it. I know that it spoke love into her heart far more than any other gift can.

She has had quite a fifth year our Miss N. Just ten days in she became a sibling survivor. In her 5th year she faced issues most adults have yet to face. She grew an astounding 4-1/4 inches! (and is in the midst of another fierce growth spurt) She ate a ton... there were many comedic moments when we'd be offering ANYTHING to Miss E... begging her to eat... and in the background you could hear Miss N "I'll eat it! Can I have some?! Please?!". She learned to read. And she made us so very proud. Life handed her a lot. But she handled most of it with more grace and understanding than most adults do. On this her sixth birthday... my hope and prayer is for a year entirely different from the last. For her to have a year of just being a kid! I love you Miss N!

What I CAN do

We are fast approaching the year mark from the date of Miss E's diagnosis. From the first moment I knew her life was entirely out of my hands. I've done my best to walk along side her, to comfort her, to assess her constantly and get her help when she needs it. But there is always that desire to do more. And yet, most of the time it feels like my hands are tied. I can't simply eliminate bad foods from her diet or from something she is allergic to. She needs help that is so big and complicated I don't even understand most of it. That's a hard place for a parent. You want to be the one to fix everything, to make everything ok, to protect and shelter your child from any and everything that could harm them. And in this circumstance I really can not. I must place her firmly in Gods hands and pray that he would let us keep her just a little longer. I know in my head that that is really the case with both of my children. They are His, not mine. They are only mine to care for for a little while. Living with a child with cancer really makes you face the reality of that.

A little over a week ago I became obsessed with knitting her a pair of socks for her to wear to her procedures last week. Procedure day isn't fun. Miss E hates being sedated and I hate to watch. There is something so utterly unnatural about it... it just goes against the grain of my being. Unfortunately it's a regular part of her treatment. So much so that I have lost count of the number of times we've been in that room. At a certain point I realized I'd sort of crossed the lines of sanity with the sock obsession. It doesn't take long to knit her a pair of socks, she has tiny feet. But my desire to have them done before procedure day was a little too fiery. I then realized that something inside of me felt like if I could do this, it would make us both feel better. That somehow having these socks on her feet would make me feel like I was able to do something to make her feel more at ease. And she adores her 'mommy socks'. She's always gotten cold but now is much more likely to do so. I think she loves her 'mommy socks' because they're all made of wool and keep her chilly feet warm. (Miss N on the other hand... strips off all her clothes any chance she gets. She is seriously hot blooded!) So knit away I did... and when I mentioned my crazy thinking that somehow these socks would make procedure day better for both of us my husband said "It will.". God bless him. He gets it.

I've finished up several other knits... much more interesting knitting-wise, but less attached to my heart... lace ribbon scarf for me, handspun baby sweater with some of my very earliest yarn, more socks for E, and another Nancy Bush pattern - this time for Hub. Miss N's blanket is also done... just two more days until I can give it to her! That project and it's recipient deserve their own post.